I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
