What a fucking waste of an outfit
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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