it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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