had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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