i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
