She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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