In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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