Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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