I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
