But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
