We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
