Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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