Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
