u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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