I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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