I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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