i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
