Dual....:-)
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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