My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You smell like stripper and shame
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
