Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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