ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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