Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
