the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
