worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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