I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
