Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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