1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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