if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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