yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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