tell your sister to shave her snatch
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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