I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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