And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
