We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want to make out with him forever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
