The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
