I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
