so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
