Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize