I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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