He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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