wakey wakey hands off snakey
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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