She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
