Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
