He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
