The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
