He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
