just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
