someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
