Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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