The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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