think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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