question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
