Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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