Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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