No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
