I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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