is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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