Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

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(317): View more from Indiana

i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants

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(512): View more from Texas

I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.

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(425): View more from Washington

the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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(360): View more from Washington

Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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(734): View more from Michigan

He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.

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(916): View more from California

Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.

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