please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The air taste purple.
Randomize
