my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
